Lately my feelings and emotions have been turbulent, violently crashing around inside of me. It is not my desire to be so emotion driven; and yet it has been my reality as of late. It seems as though every time I start to feel a little balance returning, and I feel as if I can exhale again; another violent unexpected wave comes crashing over me sending me back under these overwhelming emotions.
Living this way for an extended period of time has left me: -exhausted -weary -broken -fearful Don't get me wrong, this is all happening even while I am reading my Bible, sending time in prayer both verbal and written, worshiping corporately and individually. I have come to a place where I am concerned I am going crazy.
Scripture addresses the feelings I am consumed by: -You’re my place of quiet retreat; I wait for Your Word to renew me. Psalm 119:114 -He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29 -He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 -I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 I could fill pages upon pages with scriptures speaking to these four emotions that have consumed my worship and praise. But for your sake and mine I am giving just one. I encourage you to read the Bible on these topics, it is amazing how God took the time to equip us to fight against these attacks from the enemy.
Can I say I have lived in an overwhelming confidence that "It is well with my soul"? NO seven times over. But I have learned that my experiences and feelings do not ever altar the truth of God's character or His Word. (As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were. Romans 4:17 The message version put it this way: We call Abraham “father” not because he got God’s attention by living like a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody. Isn’t that what we’ve always read in Scripture, God saying to Abraham, “I set you up as father of many peoples”? Abraham was first named “father” and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, “You’re going to have a big family, Abraham!”
What grabs at my heart is, God will call things out before they are! I may not feel like it is well with my soul; however I am going to speak it before it is as though it was. If you are like me and your circumstances and feelings don't line up with what God's Word says, feel free to send me a prayer request, I'd love to pray with you while you wait for what will be.
Life Is Beautiful!